I wanted to share with you what I went through, in case it might be of benefit to you.
I knew that I was going to do a video blog last week, so earlier in the week I thought I should practise using my phone for recording a video. In the past I believed that I wouldn’t be much good at doing video blogs, because my forte has been writing, where I can take my time, rewrite, correct mistakes, and satisfy my Virgoan need for perfection – to a degree, at least.
So, earlier in the week, I did a recording of roughly what I was going to say. I was amazed that I spoke for around 10 minutes without referring to any notes, and without doing any ‘umm’ing and ‘ahh’ing. This wasn’t going to be as hard as I thought.
The next opportunity I had to create my video was on Friday, the day I have traditionally written my blogs. I found a place with enough light and I sat down to make my video. I had recorded a few minutes of my recording, when our next door neighbour picked that moment to start his mowing.
“Ok, I’m a patient person,” I thought. “His lawn is not that big. I can wait.”
So I busied myself with learning how to upload the video once it was completed, and sure enough the mowing soon ceased. I sat down to commence my recording once again. I got a few minutes into the recording, when the neighbour decided to pick that moment to start using a blower to blow the mown grass from his concrete areas.
Once again I waited, and then started the recording over again. Next the dog decided to bark, right beside me. I started again. A loud plane flew overhead. I started again.
After a few more false starts when I started with the wrong words, or left something out, I had nearly finished the recording when my husband came into the room talking to me at the top of his voice about something he had been working on. Oops! I hadn’t thought to warn him that I was recording.
I had just started recording once more and the doorbell sounded. Someone was at the door, and after that it was time for lunch.
After lunch, I had to change to a different room. There was a continuous noise that I had to shut out, so hid myself in the bedroom to record.
With the bedroom door shut tight, after a few more false starts, I managed to record the whole thing beginning to end – no outside noises, no stuff-ups. I was so proud of myself.
After all that I had been through, I was so glad that the ordeal was over, but was it?
I tried to upload the file, but it didn’t seem to work. I connected my phone to my computer and easily transferred the file. Phew!
I started my video on my computer with pride. My pride soon turned to despair; my video was sideways. Who knew that you had to hold your phone sideways to get the picture to show correctly on the computer? Not me.
In hindsight it seemed obvious, as that is the shape of the computers screen. Tears!
No way! How can this be?
“Not to worry”, hubby says. “You can download a free program that will allow you to rotate the video recording.”
I was so keen to download it, that I didn’t take any notice of the terms and conditions that I was agreeing to. I noticed that along with the desired program, it seemed to download something else as well. What I later discovered was that I had inadvertently downloaded a program that took control of all my web browsers and brought up annoying advertisements whenever I accessed any website. I would worry about that later.
Right now, I had to fix my video. I went through the long complicated process that had promised to restore my video to the upright position – no luck. Perhaps I had done something wrong. I tried again – still no luck.
I went through my options:
I could post a sideways video and ask everyone to just turn their screens or their heads sideways – not really an option.
Or, I could give up. This sounded like a wonderful option. It was a stupid idea for me to think that I could do a video blog anyway.
Just then, my husband said: “Tomorrow’s another day.”
I felt like just going to bed, pulling the covers over my head and staying there for eternity, but I started to realise that it wasn’t the end of the world; tomorrow was, indeed, another day. I started to consider the possibility that everything that had happened to me that day had been for very good reasons. I couldn’t imagine at that time what any of those reasons could be, but it was a small lifeline to hold on to.
If I wasn’t going to give up and go to bed, I may as well set about getting rid of the unwanted programs on my computer.
What a waste of a day – not only had I not completed my video blog, but I had had to fix my computer as well.
I went to my before-bed meditation feeling stressed and frazzled. I thought some of the thoughts I had spoken of in my video blog: “I can’t do this. What’s the point?”
Whereas I am normally able to quiet my mind quite easily, for a while I held onto that frazzled feeling. I had forgotten most of what I had spoken of in my video. I could have watched my anxious frazzled thoughts floating away on the leaves on a stream, but instead I was thinking what a waste of a day I had had.
Eventually, I remembered that love was the answer to all questions, so I started to think LOVE.
I slowly began to calm.
I remembered what my spiritual teachers had told me a number of times:
Meditation is the cure for stress
If we don’t meditate, the stress builds up in our bodies from day to day, or on a day like that Friday, from hour to hour.
When we meditate, we are not only calming our minds, but releasing stress in our bodies. Perhaps this is the reason that it is beneficial in the curing of cancer and other illnesses. Our society is finally coming to understand the effects that stress can have on our bodies. Meditation is one way of helping to release that stress.
I had hoped that the next day everything would go smoothly, but the recordings of the video and the attached meditation were only completed after a lot more false starts due to neighbours, dogs, planes, trucks and my mistakes.
When I had finally completed a recording without any of these problems, I was happy to call it good enough. My need for perfection had at last taken a back seat to my desire to provide a product that at least contained most of the information that I was hoping to convey.
In the end, I no longer needed to be proud of my finished product, but I was very proud of the fact that I had persevered and had a finished product that may help some people to embrace meditation and lead a happier, healthier life.
My evening meditation that Friday definitely helped me to put the trials of the day behind me and to find hope that the next day would be better. My morning meditation the next day allowed me to build up a bit more resistance to the stresses that reappeared that following day. Instead of continuing with the thoughts of unworthiness which my failures had brought up in me, my connection with the divine during meditation had reminded me that I am worthy of, not only divine love, but the realisation of all of my desires.
Knowing this, I am happy to encourage everyone, once again, to meditate regularly to help me achieve my greatest desires – a peaceful world.
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